


Grand Line Botany is Weird

by GemmaRose



Category: One Piece
Genre: Aphrodisiacs, Dubious Consent, Dubious Consentacles, First Time, I would say I can't believe that's a tag, Light Bondage, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Sex Pollen, Tentacle Sex, Tentacles, but of course it's a tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-22
Updated: 2016-04-22
Packaged: 2018-06-03 19:27:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,245
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6623266
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GemmaRose/pseuds/GemmaRose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Zoro gets lost on an uninhabited island, it's Sanji's job to go find him. But the local flora are feeling frisky, and neither of them is quite prepared for that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Grand Line Botany is Weird

Sometimes, Sanji really hated the Grand Line. Most of the time it was great, having Luffy for a captain turned most minor catastrophes into a day or two of adventure, but other times he kinda wondered why he had agreed to join this crazy crew. Not that he wouldn't do it again, given the chance, but there were some things which were just _so aggravating_. Like, for example, this island they were stuck on currently while their log pose reset after Skypiea. Uninhabited, small enough to walk around in a single day, and they’d been here almost a week without the pose resetting.

He and Zoro had headed out to see if there was any game on this island big enough to brag about taking down, and Robin had warned them not to mess with the weird looking plants they'd seen apparently catching and eating rabbits when they landed. Chopper was pretty sure the things weren't poisonous, but had also instructed they avoid the weird plants. That had been simple enough, and he’d been in almost a good mood until he’d gotten back with some fresh meat and found that Zoro was, unsurprisingly, still out there. Lost. _Again_.

Usopp and Chopper hadn’t wanted to go out wandering around to find Zoro, which was understandable given their status as the weakest fighters on the crew, but Luffy’s sense of direction wasn’t much better than the swordsman’s and it wouldn’t have been right to make one of the girls go out searching so that left him. Usopp and Luffy knew how to skin animals at least, so they could get started on that while he was out, but Sanji was still irritated. Really, how hard was it to look at the sinking sun and remember which damn side of the island they were docked on? And so Sanji wound up heading deeper into the forest to find the idiot marimo before their nakama started to worry.

He'd been looking around for any signs of a fight, since if anyone could find something to fight in a forest with nothing bigger than a deer it would be Zoro, and then it happened. What he'd thought to be an oddly shaped rock coughed a fine yellow dust at him, and though he leapt out of the cloud he didn't manage to avoid it entirely. His clothing was covered in a fine layer of yellow from the knees up, which thankfully brushed right off when he dusted his powder covered hands on his pants.

Sanji took an extra step back, and watched as the rock unfolded into an absolutely massive version of the plant they'd seen snatch up and ensnare its prey earlier. It was easily big enough to trap a fully sized deer, which meant it was also big enough to trap _him_ if he got too close. His heart was racing, and as tendrils whipped out at him Sanji dodged diagonally backwards again. The vines changed course, and he really hoped that the yellow stuff wasn't some sort of tracking powder for the plant to find him by.

One of the vines got close enough for him to kick, but deftly wrapped around his ankle and yanked him off his feet. His back hit the ground, and before he could aim a kick at the tendril holding him another one ensnared his other leg. Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. Now he had dirt on him as well as that yellow dust. Sanji twisted so one of the tendrils was pressed against the ground then drove his heel into it and flipped to his feet, stomping on both vines. They unhooked pretty fast, and he ran. Fighting a plant monster was _not_ on the list of things he wanted to do today.

After a few minutes, Sanji paused by a riverbank. He'd dusted his hands off pretty well on his slacks, but his face and hair were probably still covered in dust. A bit of splashing removed the gritty feeling at the edges of his eyes and mouth, and he pulled a handkerchief from his back pocket to wipe his face dry before any water could drip down onto his shirt. Unfortunately the kerchief was covered in dust, but a quick shake fixed that. Once his face was clean and dry, Sanji removed his jacket to shake the dust off. It had a consistency like flour, and apparently some sort of drug-like qualities because his heart started racing again when he inhaled some of the loose dust. Huh, if he had a container on hand he would've dusted his tie off into it to bring a sample back to Chopper. A dust like this probably had some medicinal uses, and even if it didn't their doctor would be excited by the chance to learn something.

Sanji had taken his shirt off and was trying not to inhale the yellow dust he knocked free of the fabric when a sound made him tense. He paused, holding up the shirt as if inspecting it for yellow spots (there was still dust under the collar and buttons) and sure enough those were footsteps coming at him. He flicked his shirt over to lie next to his jacket and other things, and turned to face the sound in a stance which looked casual but left him open to spring into action in just about any direction. Sure he was barefoot, but unless the approaching person was seriously armed that wouldn't be a problem.

Then Zoro burst out of the trees, covered in pink and yellow dust with two swords drawn. The white one was still in its sheath, so whatever he'd been fighting hadn't been too much of a challenge. Sanji nodded, acknowledging the swordsman's presence, then turned and picked up his shirt. He could probably wear it back to the ship like this, honestly. Change clothes once he got back so none of it got into the food and let Chopper collect what he could. Sanji reached to take off his slacks, to shake those clean as well, but a strangled sounding moan made him hesitate. It definitely wasn't an animal sound, or a tree groaning in the wind. That was a human noise, and the only other human here was Zoro, who- Sanji turned around, and his eyes widened.

Zoro wasn't bleeding, which was why he hadn't noticed earlier, but the swordsman was a wreck. His shirt was stuck to his skin with sweat, his pants were in absolute tatters and clinging to his legs with a wet shine, and he was even missing a boot. Sanji had seen Zoro battered much worse than that, though the missing shoe was a surprise, but what made him pause was the swordsman's posture as he sat against the steep dirt bank a few feet from the river. Shoulders back and down, neck bared by the way his head was digging into the dirt slope, his whole body tense. Zoro looked _vulnerable_ , which was an incredibly unnerving thing to see.

"Zoro?" he asked gently, dropping the pretense of antagonism and taking a few steps closer. They were nakama, after all, and this whole situation was making Sanji's hair stand on end. He was missing something, there was something very wrong here and he wasn't seeing the clue that would tell him what it was. Whatever, between him and Zoro they could handle anything in this forest. The swordsman was still covered in dust, and Sanji could've kicked himself for being so stupid.

"C'mon, in the river Marimo." he said, grabbing Zoro's forearm and pulling the swordsman to his feet. "Pink's not your colour."

Zoro made it all of five steps before collapsing to his knees, breathing heavily, but that was close enough to the water's edge for Sanji to get to work. First he tilted Zoro's head up by the chin and splashed water in his face, cleaning most of the pink and yellow dust off of there. By the time Zoro's right arm was done the man seemed to understand what Sanji was doing, and as he lifted his cupped palms full of water to splash on Zoro's left arm, the swordsman lunged the last foot or so into the river.

He hit the water with a splash, and Sanji spluttered as he wiped his face dry. "Warn me first, asshole!"

Zoro's head broke the surface, and Sanji remained crouched on the shore as the pink and yellow dust covering his nakama was swept away downstream in colourful swirls. "Fuck, that's cold!"

Sanji sighed, and stood to turn around and remove his slacks. "Says the moron who went swimming on a winter island." he jabbed, pulling off his pants and exhaling as he gave them a brisk shake.

"That was training." Zoro sniped back, sounding much more like his usual self. Sanji rolled his eyes, but said nothing. By the time he had his shoes laced back on, Zoro was sitting on a rock a few feet from the river's edge and pouring water out of his remaining boot.

"One of those freaky plants get you?" Sanji asked, running his fingers under the collar of his shirt to make sure there wasn't any more of that dust.

"Something like that." Zoro grumbled, shoving his boot on and sliding his katanas into place on his haramaki. "Let's just get back to the ship, I'm getting hungry."

That was probably the most civil conversation he'd had with Zoro all month. Sanji opened his mouth to maybe ask if the swordsman had any preference on what he made for dinner, but then Zoro turned and started walking upstream. Sanji paused and rolled his eyes. "Wrong way, Marimo." he called out, and when Zoro turned around to glare at him Sanji jabbed a thumb over his shoulder. "Ship's this way." he smirked a little as Zoro glared, but didn't turn and start walking until he was sure the swordsman was following. They walked in almost comfortable silence for a while, Sanji occasionally stopping to turn around and make sure Zoro didn't get lost, then came to a hill so steep it could almost be called a cliff. At the top was the woods, but at the bottom was a stretch of boulder-free grasslands which gave way to the beach and then the ocean. It was a wonderful view, but he didn't let his gaze linger, instead turning it to a closer examination of the slope.

The hill was littered with clusters of boulders and small flesh-eating flowers, making it look almost alien, and Sanji glanced along the top of the ridge. On their left was the river, far too fast and deep at this point to make crossing a viable option, and too littered with stones to simply let the current carry them downhill. On their right was the forest, which stopped in almost a straight line at the top of the slope, possibly the soil was too shallow or the incline too steep for it to support trees? Hell if he knew, he was a cook not a botanist.

"We should go down on a shallow angle." Zoro said, pointing in the right direction for once. "So long as we veer uphill of any big rocks it'll be a piece of cake."

"I knew that." Sanji snapped, starting down the hill and leaning slightly towards the ridge to keep his balance. "I was just trying to figure out how to phrase it so your dumb ass would understand."

"Really." Zoro drawled, obviously disbelieving. "A pervy cook like you knows how to navigate?"

"Oh, like you're one to talk." Sanji fired over his shoulder. "You couldn't navigate your way out of a paper bag."

"You wanna fucking go, curly?" Zoro snarled, and Sanji heard the distinctive sound of swords being unsheathed.

"Bring it on, moss head." he snapped, launching himself up in the air and twisting to bring his heel down against Zoro's blades. The slope gave him an advantage, especially since the swordsman's booted foot was uphill of his bare one. Sure enough, once he landed uphill it only took a few blows to make Zoro yield ground. But with the steep pitch of the slope, yielding ground sent his nakama tumbling ass over teakettle downhill. Straight into a rock which released a cloud of yellow dust on impact.

Shit.

Sanji got two steps before he started sliding, and rocks all over the slope started unfolding into those fucking flowers. He managed to keep his descent controlled, even as the air filled with yellow dust and his heart started beating like crazy. His foot his something not stone or dirt or grass, and Sanji stomped on it as hard as he could. There was a shout of pain, and he took a step back. "Shit, Zoro?" another puff of dust, this time right in his face, and he coughed as he waved it away, eyes watering.

"Dammit!" Zoro yelled, and Sanji took a blind step towards the sound. Gods, he hoped this was just a result of having been blasted in the face and not a permanent effect of the dust.

Something suddenly wrapped around him, lifting him from under the arms and lashing tight around his legs so he couldn't get a kick in. Barbs dug into his calves, and he bit down on a shout of pain. He was dragged forward, and suddenly everything went dark save a dim red light.

"Mother _fuck_!" Zoro snarled, and Sanji's vision must've been clearing because he could make out the swordsman struggling against vines which were twining around his legs, weaving in and out of his shredded pants. Well, he was certainly okay, but they were both trapped.

"Can you reach your swords?" Sanji asked, testing the vines binding his wrists together. He wasn't in danger of losing circulation, but he wouldn't be sliding free any time soon. Zoro didn't answer, but as his vision continued clearing Sanji was able to tell the swordsman was glaring. Yeah, dumb question.

His eyes had finally adjusted when there was a wet sliding sound, and Zoro started struggling harder, almost desperately. Sanji kept pulling, trying to get himself some slack, but kept an eye on the large bud in the center of the flower. It was unfurling, revealing viciously spiked vines which could probably flay flesh from bone without a problem, but that wasn't what made him suck a breath in between his teeth. No, that dubious honour went to the six fat, slimy, writhing, vaguely conical _tentacles_ clustered together in the heart of the plant.

"What the shit?!" he exclaimed, redoubling his efforts to break free as the spiked vines came towards him.

"Cook, try not to breathe." Zoro snapped, and Sanji took a deep breath to hold right before the air filled with dust. One of the spiked vines slid up his pants leg and he reflexively inhaled when it nicked the back of his calf. He sucked in more dust than air, and immediately began coughing, inhaling even more dust. If his heart had been racing before then that was nothing compared to now. He was hyper-aware of his body, of the vines ripping his pants to shreds, of the slick pressure of a tentacle on his crotch. He gasped at the contact, and all trains of thought in his mind promptly jumped the tracks.

His pants were in tatters, and when one of the tentacles probed at his ass it brushed wide strips of cloth aside to touch flesh. Sanji tensed, and a new vine wrapped around his waist as the tentacle slid down, pressing firmly and leaving a trail of something slippery on his skin. The tentacle slipped inside of him, and Sanji bit back a gasp at the feeling of being stretched and filled. He tried to arch forwards, but the vine around his waist kept him still. The tentacle twisted, and it was getting harder and harder to hold onto any thought more complex than pleasure and pressure and _more_.

Nearby, Zoro moaned, and Sanji's vision whited out for a long few seconds as the twisting tentacle inside him found a spot that felt just absolutely _amazing_ and started writhing against that. He gasped, and with the inhale came a high needy sound which seemed to affect Zoro in some way because the swordsman moaned again, louder than before.

Sanji tried to tug his hands free, to reach down and undo his fly, but they were still bound. A second later the thought flew out of his head as the tentacle in him _pushed_ and his attention snapped back to the feeling of fullness, the slight friction of being penetrated, the stretch of his body to accommodate each inch pressed further into him. A second tentacle slid between his legs, up to rub against his painfully hard cock, and he didn't even care what kind of noise left his mouth as he bucked against the pressure. The vines around his hips and chest tugged him down, the tentacle inside him forcing its way ever deeper, and Sanji climaxed hard enough he might've lost consciousness for a second.

He came to with a quiet moan, still breathing heavily, and took a sharp breath as the tentacle in his ass writhed deeper. He was too full, it was too much, but he couldn't get the words in order and even if he had been able to it was a plant, it had no ears. The tentacle seemed to pulse, pressing deeper, spreading him wider, and the thought flashed through Sanji's head that he'd never wanted to sleep with another man but this had maybe changed his mind. He'd never thought of guys like that before, but aphrodisiacs were funny things. 

The word aphrodisiac caught in his head, and even after another writhing, stretching pulse had filled him further beyond belief the word remained. The word was quickly followed by a thought which made Sanji chuckle. Chopper would be so curious to find out how this thing worked, if it was even a plant or some sort of weird animal. He'd probably be happy to dissect one, and they'd have to stop him from running off into the jaws of danger without thinking. Gods, for the fact that he'd originally been a prey animal, the kid had next to no common sense in the field of self preservation.

Sanji stopped laughing, and his eyes widened. Chopper. Chopper who was waiting for them back on the Merry, with Nami and Robin and the other two boys of their crew. He still had to make dinner for them, they were counting on him. What was he doing? His legs had been free for several minutes at least!

Sanji's back arched as the tentacle in him drove deeper, and he slammed his heel into the plant’s slimy appendage as hard as he could. It recoiled, drawing out of him a few inches, and Sanji kicked it again. There was another puff of dust in his face, but none got in his eyes as he smashed his foot against the tentacle one more time. It recoiled fully, and the emptiness made him feel weirdly light and vulnerable, but that was beside the point. The point was that they needed to get out and back to their nakama before this monster plant _ate them_.

Sanji turned, head spinning slightly, and stomped as close to the exact center of the plant as he could. The vines reaching for him recoiled, and there was a wet thud of a body hitting the ground followed by Zoro swearing. Sanji stomped again, and the plant fell open. The light was dazzling, sun setting over the ocean, but Sanji didn't stop to appreciate the view. He grabbed Zoro by the arm and dragged the swordsman out of the tentacle-flower, both of them hitting the ground with unceremonious thumps and tumbling down the hill.

They came to a stop in waist-high grasses, and Sanji tried to push Zoro off of his chest but his limbs wouldn't obey him. His back arched, and a pitiful needy sound escaped his lips. He'd gotten blasted with a facefull of that aphrodisiac dust, and now it was kicking in _hard_. Zoro groaned, and lifted his head blearily.

"S'not your colour either." the swordsman slurred, pushing himself up and smirking. Sanji managed to catch the whimper before it left his throat, but he still missed the warmth of Zoro's chest on his. Gods, that was his only option wasn't it. There was no way Zoro could navigate them to the ocean in plain sight, and he definitely couldn't get there on his own to wash this shit off.

"Zoro." he managed, and something in his tone must've been enough because Zoro made this funny little sigh and leaned down to kiss him. Sanji's hips rolled up, pressing against Zoro's, and when the swordsman's mouth moved to his neck he couldn't stop his voice from cracking into a moan. "Zoro." he managed to lift his arms and grab the swordsman's waist, pulling their hips together.

Frustratingly, Zoro pulled away at that. "You sure, cook?" he asked, one of his hands already on Sanji's thigh.

Sanji took a deep breath, and steadied his voice as much as he was able. "Yes." he looked Zoro dead in the eyes, and an unexpected surge of _want_ burned through him. "I can't believe I'm saying this, but I want you to fuck me."

Zoro's face was totally unreadable for a long second, then he slammed their mouths together in the fiercest kiss Sanji had ever experienced. He let Zoro push and pull at his legs until they were hooked over the swordsman's shoulders, and one hand left the side of his head. Seconds later Zoro was pressing into him, and every muscle in his body tensed like someone had touched him with a live wire. Zoro moaned into his mouth, and Sanji broke the kiss digging his head back against the dirt.

"Fuck, Cook, how're you still so tight?" Zoro gasped, moving his hips in a slow rolling motion. Sanji opened his mouth to fire back some manner of insult, fumbling for familiar ground even as Zoro started to pick up the pace, but that was when the swordsman’s head lowered to bite at his neck.

"Shit!" he yelped, hips jerking up towards Zoro and generating more satisfying friction in a few heartbeats than the entire encounter with the tentacle-flower.

"You like that?" Zoro murmured against his neck, and Sanji couldn't pull together a response more coherent than a needy whine. Zoro's teeth scraped over his neck just barely shy of hard enough to draw blood, and his heels dug into the swordsman's back.

"I'm gonna-" Zoro broke off in a low moan, the sound sinking through Sanji's neck and buzzing pleasantly along the length of his spine. He pressed his heels harder against Zoro's back, hands gripping at the swordsman's hips, and Zoro lifted his mouth from Sanji's neck before gritting his teeth. "I'm clo- I- Fuck, _Sanji_." Zoro thrusted harder, and Sanji's near scream as he came was swallowed up by a sudden kiss. Zoro pulled out, and Sanji grunted as the marimo laid down on top of him but he didn't break their kiss.

It was Zoro who pulled away, breathing heavily, with an expression caught somewhere in the middle of sleepy adoring and awed. Sanji smiled back, and leaned up for another lazy kiss. Zoro was a surprisingly good kisser, for all that Sanji didn't have much to compare him to. Everything seemed a bit hazy, and with Zoro draped over him like the world's heaviest blanket Sanji was just about ready to fall asleep mid-kiss. Zoro's mouth wandered over to his ear, and Sanji couldn't even summon the energy to properly tense up at the tingles which radiated across his skin from the point of contact.

"Not now." he groaned, and pushed himself up with one arm.

"Sorry." Zoro smirked, smug and oddly attractive but most importantly not sorry at all.

"It's getting late." Sanji got to his feet, and swayed for a second as exhaustion swept through him. He could seriously lie down and fall asleep right now if not for the fact that he still had to cook dinner for his nakama. "Come on, Marimo, ship's this way."

Zoro grumbled under his breath, but the trek to the shore was made in relative quiet. A quick dunk in the chilly surf chased the last bits of tiredness from his system, and had the added bonus of washing off the plant powders which he hadn't brushed off already and just making him feel generally cleaner. He'd have to talk with Zoro about what had happened back there, if only to set straight that it was a moment of mutual need and wouldn't happen again.

Except... he didn't want it to not happen again, not when the whole thing (after getting out of that damn plant) had felt surprisingly _right_. Hell, Zoro had even called him by name! But that was something to be considered later, turned over in his mind in some quiet moment. Later he could pull Zoro aside and try to have a serious conversation which went longer than three sentences without devolving into insults and fighting. Right now he'd just enjoy the companionable silence as they walked home, and try to plan something he could make quickly once they arrived.


End file.
